I have been with more than 150 men

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column and it gives me hope to write to you for your guidance and prayers. I am an attractive young woman in my mid-20s who struggles with self love and seeks validation from men.  

Growing up, I wasn’t shown any love or attention from my parents. They left me when I was young and only funded my schooling. That led me into searching for love and affection from men. However, I never had any luck.

I kept jumping from men to men without me even noticing, because I am searching for something that seems impossible to find. One day I wrote down every single guy I have been with, just to understand what the issues were. The list had well over 150 names. I was shocked and saddened at the same time, because I still have not found one who wants to settle down and be married to me. All they need is sex. 

I have been alone now for a while and I am so desperate. I have no one to truly love me, and it feels as if I have lost my purpose in life, because even the Bible says life without true love is meaningless. 

Help me, please. 

K.

Dear K.,

I want to thank you for your letter. I would like readers to know that I have spoken to you and I believe wholeheartedly that you need help. What you need is a job. I want to assure you that I will not divulge your name. Neither would I allow anyone to use you because of what they have read in my column about you. 

I am sorry to hear that your parents did not do much for you apart from sending you to school in your early years.  I am glad that you are computer-literate. It would be good if you could do more studies on the computer. That is something you should explore. 

Please do not condemn yourself because of the large number of men with whom you have gone to bed. The past is the past. You cannot change the past. I assure you of my prayers on your behalf, and I will endeavour to assist you in the future. 

Pastor