My woman keeps asking about my life savings

Dear Pastor,

I am writing you for your advice. I am in my early 40s. I was living in America and I got married over there, but America is not for me. My wife divorced me and I came to Jamaica with the little money that I had saved and decided to start life here. I have done everything to make a living, but I made a bad choice. I chose a woman who has five children to be my partner.

She smokes weed and drinks. When she gets drunk, she lies down anywhere and exposes herself. When she gets sober and people tell her what she did, she calls them liars. We were doing some farming together, but we couldn't make it, so we broke up. I used to have different people help me in the field, and one day she came to the field and caught me with one of the female workers. She threatened to tell everybody that I was having a relationship with the girl. That did not make me take her back, but she shamed the girl, who was living with her boyfriend, so I lost that good worker. I am now in a relationship with another woman. She is 10 years younger than I am. She has two children, a boy and a girl. She has not trained them to do anything in the house. The children don't keep the place tidy, and even her daughter has not learned to wash her own clothes. She does not pressure me for money; that is one thing I love about her. I don't know what she has in the bank. I don't ask her, but she is always asking me how much money I have put away. She asks me if I have enough money for my funeral should anything happen to me.

My brother's wife is an insurance agent. He told me to make sure I have an insurance policy to take care of my funeral. My children, who are abroad, don't care about me. Do you think I should put her name on the policy when I take out the insurance? Give me your advice.

A.P.

Dear A.P.,

You should encourage this woman with whom you were living, if you are on speaking terms, to seek professional help. It is very sad when folks are addicted to certain drugs that they allow to destroy them. Many times, I have seen young girls get hooked on smoking marijuana and they appear unable to stop. Marijuana has its uses. Some people seem like they always have to use it to get high and it has destroyed them. Nobody in their right mind should condemn a person who drinks occasionally, but we know that some people have also destroyed themselves by becoming alcoholics. It would be better for a person to abstain totally from alcoholic beverages, but people who spend so much time in the pubs and cannot do without liquor are in trouble and need professional help. Therefore, your former lover needs to be encouraged to seek help. I am not saying that you should take her back in your life. But, if possible, you should try everything to help her.

Concerning this woman with whom you are living. Perhaps she is trying to be very careful about how she operates with you. It is not wrong for her to ask about your finances. After all, both of you are living together. She should have asked that even before you moved in together. So do not be annoyed because she is questioning you about that. On the other hand, she should be willing to tell you what she has. Life is not a one-sided game. So if you see a future with this woman, don't allow her to ask you again about your account. Tell her what you have, and go beyond that; show her what you have. It does not mean that you have to put her name on your account. Show her that you have nothing to hide. I wish you well.

Pastor