Big woman loves taking care of me

Dear Pastor,

I am only 19 and I have two girlfriends. I came to Kingston and was working in a supermarket, but I was laid off. When I was working, I was helping a woman to shop.

I was pushing the trolley for her and she said, "You seem to be a nice young man." She asked me where I was from and I told her. She cashed her items and I pushed her trolley to her car.

I did not know who she was. She opened her car and I put the goods inside. She asked me for my cell number, which I gave to her, and she gave me hers. She told me that I could call her at any time. One day, I called her and a man answered. I got nervous, so I turned the phone off. Later in the evening, I called again, and the same thing happened, but this time I told the man that I would like to speak with Miss So-and-so. I heard him calling her, and she came on the line and said she was glad I called, and it was her son who answered her phone. She told me that she had two sons, but they were not living with her and sometimes she felt for male company. She asked me about my girlfriend and I told her I had one, but she was living in the country. She also told me that she could treat me better than my girlfriend. Pastor, her two sons are older than I am. She drives a nice Honda SUV.

I went to her house and I could not believe what I got into. She ordered me to take a bath and before I came out, she was at the door with a towel to dry me off. She lotioned me from head to toe. She only had on her underwear with a see-through gown. I asked her why she was doing this and she said she wanted to spend some time with me and to see what I could do.

Pastor, I could not even eat much of what she cooked. I was so nervous. My girlfriend called me and I told her I would call her back, but I didn't. She asked me what was wrong with me and I told her nothing. My uncle told my girlfriend that I had another girlfriend and the new girlfriend 'tied me' and I can never leave her. I love my girlfriend, but now this big woman is taking care of me and is even sending me to driving school. I am so tied up with her, I don't know what to do.

A.M.

Dear A.M.,

This woman evidently is a 'cougar'. She was looking for a man, but she did not want to find one in her age group. She wanted a much younger man who would take her on a long journey in the bedroom. Perhaps when she met you she was not even aware that you were only 19, but by talking to you she realised that you were very young and inexperienced, and she saw you as a good catch and a young man she could train to do whatever she wished. You fell into her trap. You could have insisted that you did not want her, but all over her was the mark of money, so you got involved. If you are honest, you would ask yourself who you love more, and I am sure the answer would be the girl in rural Jamaica. But if you asked which woman can help you to get ahead, your answer would be this older woman, and you would want to stay with her.

Young man, you do not have a future with this older woman, and when her children realise that you are having a sexual relationship with their mother, they may turn against you.

So please try and end this relationship. You should go back to rural Jamaica and try to get a job, and even try to learn a trade and renew that good relationship you had with your girlfriend.

Pastor