My stepdad is a gem

September 28, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for advice. I am 19 years old. I am living with my mother and stepfather. My stepfather is a disciplinarian. I know what he likes and what he does not like. I have a younger sister who doesn't like my stepfather, because she likes to have her own way. My biological father has not supported me because his mother told him that I was a 'jacket', and he believed her. My mother said she was just spending a night at my father's parents' home and a man came by and asked about the baby, and she went out and spoke to the man. When my father came home, his mother told him that a man came to see me, so he should be careful.

She explained to my father who the man was, but he did not say anything, and when I was born his mother told him that I am not his child, and he believed his mother. So my mother had to turn to another man. That is how my stepfather got involved with her. I love him so much, although he is stern. He has never hit me; and when I am wrong, I am wrong. My younger sister is the only child he has with my mother, but she is very feisty. She has a boyfriend and she is always on the phone with him. I like a guy, but my aim is to become a lawyer, and my stepfather says that he will do his best to send me to law school.

I don't even want to know my biological father, and I don't have anything to do with my grandmother on his side. She lied on my mother, and I feel hurt about that.


Dear T.Y.,

Evidently, your grandmother did not trust your mother. A gentleman came to see your mother and she assumed that they were having an intimate relationship. She should have kept her mouth closed. But even if she felt that she needed to tell him, the advice she gave to him was wrong. I would not be surprised if your father has regretted that he listened to his mother.

I am pleased to know that your stepfather has treated you well. He has accepted you as his own daughter, and you have been respectful. You are a wise young woman and I hope that your sister would learn to be respectful to her father and not to be so engaged with boys. Keep your head high. You want to be a lawyer, study hard and read a lot and you will succeed.

Let me hear from you again.


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