Miss my first babyfather’s ‘sugar cane’

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. Please keep up the good work. Pastor, I am 34 years old and I have two children. People say that I am very attractive.

My first child's father cheated on me and it was not just one time. I forgave him but he continued to cheat, so we broke up. I went abroad and did a course and I got involved with another man but the relationship did not last. I came back to Jamaica and got a job and my boss and I became friends. It didn't take long for us to end up in bed. I became pregnant and I have his child.

ALWAYS ON MY MIND

It is very difficult to work in this environment. He said I was always accusing him of having relationships with all the women who call the office, so he helped me to get another job. I cannot get my first child's father out of my mind. He was not only a charmer but a good lover, and these days he has been calling me often and using his child as an excuse to talk to me.

My ex-boyfriend does not have to pay for anything for my child. He sends him to what I will call the best prep school in the Corporate Area and, last year, he bought his girlfriend a new car for her birthday. I told my first child's father that it should have been me getting that car and he told me that he agreed with me, but it was not too late for us to get back together. I find myself thinking about him more and more but I am still in love with my second child's father. I can see why a woman can have two men. In my case, my first child's father has a 'sugar cane' and although we are not together, I have missed it. Should I invite him back into my life? He would love that.

D.W.

Dear D.W.,

You said that this man was a womaniser and so you broke up with him. You got involved with another man and you have a second child by him but this man was your boss, so you got a job at another place. But your heart is still on your first child's father. You want him back into your life for several reasons. You are not a happy woman. Frankly, you are a bad girl, and, if you don't try to behave yourself, you are going to get hurt. Your first child's father will take you on again if you continue to be careless. You need not invite this man back into your life.

Pastor