Friends think I should cheat on my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I have a boyfriend. I am attending university but he is twice my age. Everybody in my family likes him because he is very helpful to them.

But some of my girlfriends told me that a man like that I should only keep because of what he can give me, but I should give him 'bun'. One of the girls has two men with her boyfriend and she gives him 'bun' and the guy found out and left her. Now she is always begging me money. She said that she doesn't care, but I don't believe her. My boyfriend is a developer and sometimes when I go with him to some of these sites, all eyes are on me because I am beautiful and my boyfriend is very proud of me. My concern is he is still married but separated, and his wife said she is not giving him a divorce because it is young girl he wants. I did not know my boyfriend when he and his wife were having problems. So I shouldn't take the blame for the two of them breaking up. He asked my father for permission for me to live with him. My father told me that it was up to him because I am a big woman. I would like him to get his divorce and marry me because I want to go back to church. I was very active in church before I got involved with him. Do you think that he is too old for me?

E.J.

Dear E.J.,

More and more young women are going to get into serious problems with men because they believe they can trick them and 'nyam them out' as they often say.

Some of these men are very much aware of the plans of these young women so they are not going to go down without a fight. I must, therefore, warn young women to be careful of what they do, and I beg young women to stay with one man if they are in love with them and try not to trick the men. You are now in love with a man twice your age. If you love him, be true to him. I am not going to say he is too old for you, but he is still married.

You say his wife has declared that she would not give him a divorce. She cannot stop him from divorcing her. I am sure that his lawyer will advise him appropriately.

Pastor