Worried about her past sex life

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 years old and I have a very good job and I want to settle down. I used to have lots of women in my life, but I have changed. My last girlfriend was in an accident and she died.

Until now, I have not fully got over her. I work in a bank. I meet lots of women but now I am visiting a church. I am not yet baptised but I am dating one of the girls. She is so beautiful, but talking to her made me became suspicious about the life she lived. She has had a number of guys before becoming a part of the church and she told me that she has had herpes and that made me scared right away.

Pastor, we have never had sex but I have kissed her passionately, and I am wondering now if what I did might affect me. She is such a lovely woman. She has the right complexion for me, and she is very intelligent. Can you shed some light on herpes for me please?

R.

Dear R.,

I will remind you that I am not a medical doctor so really and truly this is a question that should be posed to a medical practitioner, but I can tell you what I know about herpes.

My understanding is that it is possible for one to contract herpes from an infected person even when there are no sores present. And people who develop herpes in the genital area often continue to have outbreaks for the rest of their lives. So far, there is no medical cure for the herpes virus. It is said that one-third of unmarried sexually active people have contracted herpes by the age of 30. Medication can treat herpes, but it cannot be cured.

This young woman who you are dating should tell you more about what she has experienced and both of you should seek the advice of a doctor. I will not tell you to stop dating her, but you should be careful not to make any firm commitment with her until you know more about her. Remember, whatever she says to you is confidential and you should not divulge that to anyone.

Pastor