Cheated on my husband with a foreigner

Dear Pastor,

I am a 35-year-old female and I am having a warm time with my husband. We have two children together and he told me that he did not want any more because he has three other children outside with three different women

I told him that I would not stop myself from having children because anything can happen to him and I may get married again, and my new husband may want children. He agreed and we began using condoms whenever we are having sex. However, it has suddenly become a problem. He wants me to stop using the condom.

I bought a new box of condoms. I keep a pack under my pillow. Last week he attempted to have sex with me while I was half asleep. When I felt his penis, he did not have the condom on. He said he was longing to feel me. He confessed that he has changed his mind, he wants another child. Pastor, I don't want him to get me pregnant again because I can barely manage to pay our bills. My husband does a little gardening work and so I am the one who pay most of the bills.

I have a confession to make to you. Two years ago, I cheated on my husband with a man who was twice my age. He was here visiting his relatives. He does not look his age. He was staying at a particular hotel and invited me there. I could not believe the nice things he said to me. When he held me in his arms, it felt so good. I did everything he asked me to do and I did not feel guilty about it. I have never had so much money from any man since I have been married.

I spent 40 minutes or so in bed with this man and he gave me a US$1,000, and that was for a 'one time' in bed with him. He then called a taxi to take me home before my husband got home. This man does not want me to call him, but he will call occasionally to say 'hi', but his number is never the same. That is the kind of man I would have another child for.

Pastor, I know you would say that I am bad, but that was the only time I ever cheated on my husband, and I am the only one taking care of the bills.

My husband is 45 years old, and my children are doing well in school. This man who is in America, who had sex with me, is retired, but he does not look or behave like someone who is retired.

I wish this man could help me get to America.

P.

Dear P.,

You know you are bad, so I do not have to tell you. You and your husband had an understa nding that both of you will not have any more children. You told him that you would not do the tubal ligation operation because anything can happen to him, such as death, and you may find anther man who may wish to have children with you, so both of you have carried on the practice of using the condom.

Your husband has changed his mind and that has caused some problems. It seems to me that you would have consented to having more children if your husband is in a better situation financially. At the moment, he is not making much money and you find it difficult to carry the financial load of the family. Hence, you yielded to the temptation of this m an who lives in America, who was on holiday in Jamaica.

Evidently, you knew this man and you felt comfortable visiting him at the hotel. There is no excuse you can give for cheating on your husband. And although your husband has his faults, you have behaved as a prostitute, and you would prostitute yourself again whenever that man returns to Jamaica.

What I would suggest is that you discuss with your husband how the both of you can do things to earn more money. Do not continue any relationship with this man who lives in America. He will destroy your marriage.

Pastor