This woman is driving me crazy

Dear Pastor,

I am 61 and I have been married twice and divorced twice. My present woman is 56 and she is very jealous. There are young women where I work, and sometimes in the evenings this woman comes there, sits in her car, and calls me to say it is time for me to go home.

I am very fond of one of the girls. I do not know who told my lady friend about it. She went through my phone and read all the messages the young woman sent me, and she is insisting that I do something to see that the girl loses her job. I told her that would get me in trouble.

She was never married but she has had many boyfriends, and she has five children. My last divorce took place three years ago. I did not invite this woman to live with me. She used to only spend weekends, but every time she did, she brought more clothes. Now the closet is filled with her clothes.

I told her that she should take her clothes away. She said that they should remain there so that when I take my lady to the house, she can see that I have a woman.

This woman is stressing me out. If I do not make love to her whenever she comes, she makes a big fuss and says that I am having sex with other women. I told her that I am under stress and it is affecting me. She is the one who is putting me under stress.

One of my sons is married and he is living overseas. He comes to Jamaica on business and whenever he is here, she behaves as if she lives with me. The things she says about me in his presence are very embarrassing. She is telling my son to encourage me to get married again because I need a woman to take care of me. I don't want this woman to be my wife and she is making sure that the young woman at my workplace doesn't have a chance with me.

I would get married again but I am not in a hurry to do so because I have made mistakes in the past. My son told me I should move all her clothes and pack them in a bag, and when she comes to visit, I should hand them to her. She is very vulgar, but I am going to take my son's advice and give her the clothes in a bag. When she begins to curse, I will not respond.

She owes me $200,000. I am going to allow her to keep the money. I made a mistake by getting involved with her while I was going through my last divorce.

T.

Dear T.,

You have been very careless with your life. It is evident by the way this woman is behaving that you have allowed her to push you around. If you do not love her, you should have told her so and you should not have allowed her to come and live with you. So although you are blaming her for coming to your workplace and demanding that you should go home immediately after work, you have caused that type of behaviour. You have not stood up as a man.

This woman sees you as a person she can use. She knows how to get around you. So, although she has her faults, you are not faultless. She is also a very selfish woman.

The young woman at your workplace who loves you, should not be fired at all. She hasn't done anything to be fired. If you do not want this woman to come back to your house, you can tell her so and ask her for your keys, or you can change the locks on your doors so she doesn't have access to your house anymore.

Your son told you to pack up her clothes and put them in a bag. I would suggest that you ask her to remove them and if she fails to do so, then you can pack them in a nice bag for her. Do not insult her by putting them in a scandal bag. Prepare for the worst argument from this woman, but remain silent.

Pastor