Mood swings driving me crazy
I am a 20-year-old college student who lives alone and pays bills. Due to the pandemic, I am afraid I may not get a job as soon as I think.
I do not have any family support. My mother and I don't have a good relationship. She is not financially capable and neither are any other relatives.
I have been taking care of myself financially since I was 17, but now I feel really lost because I am unable to do so.
I am not working right now but I started the process of job seeking. I have worked at several places but I just can't seem to hold a job.
I always get frustrated with everything and everyone. I have lived at several places. I am just always on the move. I think something is wrong.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend who sometimes assisted me. We broke up because he likes having sex. I am very moody but there were other reasons.
I don't know if I'm the only person who gets rapid and frequent mood swings, but it's affecting me negatively. I am very indecisive and I hate to be told what to do.
I am not a Christian but I was once baptised. I attend church once in a blue moon because I am not getting the vibes to go.
I was raised in a Christian home but everything started going downhill when I went to spend a holiday in an urban area with some family members.
I became exposed to many things and I wish I didn't meet some of the people I met, like my ex-boyfriend. He taught me a lot, and because of that, I see everything and everyone differently. It's really hard to unlearn some things even when they hurt you the most. The guy and I are always breaking up and making up.
I just decided to leave for good now, or at least so I think. He has some good qualities but he was physically abusive to me once.
My problems are many; the list continues but I'll stop here for now. I would really appreciate any advice.
Dear Troubled One,
You are conscious that you need professional help. You mentioned you do not have any family support. Family support can be important, but there are many like you who do not have any. For that reason, the struggle for them is very hard. But even when people have family support, they are responsible for the life they live.
What they do and say does affect them, so please do not think that you are the only person struggling. For example, you know that you and your mother do not get along.
But you can make an effort to live in peace with her. She cannot assist you financially, but the relationship should not be dead between the both of you.
You should always talk to your mother, and not to give her the impression that you do not care about her.
I commend you for trying to take care of yourself financially since you were 17. That was not something easy to do, I am sure. I am therefore not surprised that you have made mistakes. You would agree that going to spend a holiday with certain relatives changed your life totally. It was there you met this man, who turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing.
He did not respect you, and brought more suffering upon you and is still threatening you. Although you have been trying to bring an end to the relationship, it is very difficult for you to do. I trust that you will stop giving in to him. Perhaps you fear leaving him because of what you believe he would do to hurt you.
You need to give men a break. I am not saying you should not like men, I am saying that you need to pause and consider your future and stop allowing men to fool you.
You should seriously consider putting your life in God's hands. Pray more and attend church regularly. You need to give God a chance in your life.